


Sex, Lies, and Videotape

by carnivalinsidemyhead



Category: Take That
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, F/M, Implied Physical Violence, M/M, Oral Sex, Skype Sex, Smut, The Mark/Robbie relationship is the only one with sex scenes FYI, The odd bit of comic relief here and there
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-01
Updated: 2018-06-16
Packaged: 2019-05-17 00:13:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 9,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14821574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carnivalinsidemyhead/pseuds/carnivalinsidemyhead
Summary: Rob never should have asked Mark to send him that box of videotapes.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is purely a work of fiction and never happened. Flashbacks in the first part are set around the Everything Changes era.
> 
> (Also, I feel like Mark would probably meticulously label all his home movies, but let’s use our imaginations and pretend he didn’t.) 
> 
> It’s my first work. Be gentle and all that.

Rob stood staring in disbelief at the clunky metal box hooked up to the wide screen television in his and Ayda’s bedroom.  
“A VCR? Babe, where on Earth did you get a VCR?”  
“I have my sources,” Ayda smiled at him. “I thought maybe you might want to watch some of those old tapes in that box Mark sent you.”

Rob smiled at that. In a fit of nostalgia he’d asked Mark if he still had any of his old home videos from the 90s and could he send him a few. Mark, being Mark, had obligingly had a giant box of vhs tapes shipped to L.A. with a rambling note attached in which he inquired after the health of all of Rob’s relatives, pets, neighbors, and the general population of the tri-state area before adding, almost as an afterthought, that Rob should let him know what was on the tapes as he hadn’t watched them himself since the 90s.

Upon reflection, it was perhaps a bit daft of Rob to ask for tapes that he had no way of playing and the box had sat untouched in the back of the bedroom closet for several months until Ayda took it upon herself to procure a vhs player.

“Here goes nothing,” Rob quipped as he grabbed a random tape and slid it into the video player. The screen was filled with static and then there he was with Howard. They were both thoroughly intoxicated and in the middle of attempting to belch all of Bohemian Rhapsody. 

“Well thank goodness Mark decided to preserve that for posterity,” Ayda commented drily. 

“He missed the first part though, that was the best bit...hang on, you’re being sarcastic aren’t you?”  
Ayda just looked at him.

“Right. Next tape, then?”

The next few tapes proved to be a mix of the boys playing tourist in various cities, girls going into hysterics when they were in their general vicinity, and the boys playing pranks on each other. Replacing Jason’s treasured sunflower and pumpkin seed blend with bird seed really had been a stroke of genius, Rob laughed to himself. 

Still chuckling, he reached into the box for one more tape. There were dozens more, but he figured six in one go was plenty. 

In retrospect, he should have stopped at five. Or grabbed a different tape.  
....................................................................................................................

 

A hotel room interior. Rob is shirtless and half sitting, half lying on the bed. He’s gripping the headboard behind him, biting his lip, and moaning softly.

“Oh god. Please don’t let this be what I think this is,” Rob shot an anxious look at Ayda who was frowning at the screen.

“Babe, is this a sex tape? No offense but I really don’t need to see you getting it on with another woman.” 

Rob laughed nervously. 

“Oh trust me, there’s no danger of that.”

Ayda smiled. “I’m being silly, I know. I mean why on earth would Mark film you having...oh... my... god…”  
…………………………………………………………………………………………………...  
The camera pans lower, revealing Mark lying in between Rob’s thighs and smiling up at Rob as he slowly peels down his briefs and pulls out his semi hard cock. He grips it gently, stroking it up and down and rubbing his thumb over the tip. Rob writhes on the bed. Laughing quietly to himself, Mark leans down and takes Rob’s now fully erect cock between his lips, flicking his tongue over the tip. 

“Fuuuck,” Rob moans, grabbing Mark’s hair and thrusting deeper into his mouth. 

Mark slides his lips slowly down Rob’s cock from the tip to the base, humming softly. He gives a few hard sucks then pulls back up to the tip, swirling his tongue around the head. He repeats this a few times as Rob groans and mutters obscenities. When he feels Rob start to stiffen, he takes him fully in his mouth and sucks firmly and steadily, looking up at him with lust filled eyes. 

“I...I’m..gonna…,” Rob pants. Mark keeps sucking, never changing speed and never taking his eyes off Rob.

“FUUCK!!!” Rob screams as he bucks and stiffens and cums, shuddering and gasping, into Mark’s mouth. Mark’s eyes light up and he swallows it all eagerly and licks his lips.

Rob falls back, panting, and pulls Mark to his chest. 

“God, I love you so much.” Mark smiles up at him contentedly. They lie there snuggled together happily for a few moments as Rob’s breath grows steadier. 

“All right, then?” Mark inquires gently. Rob nods.

“Good,” Mark’s eyes sparkle with naughtiness.  
“My turn.”  
………………………………………………………………………………………………..

“I don’t think we need to watch any more of..” Rob moved to take the tape out of the player but was stopped by Ayda’s hand pulling him back.

“Don’t you dare, Mister.”

“You want to see me give Mark a blow job?” Rob looked at her incredulously.

Ayda shrugged. “Call it morbid curiosity.”  
…………………………………………………………………………………………………...  
The boys switch positions. Rob starts a trail of kisses down Mark’s chest and belly to his dolphin tattoo, licking and biting that spot over and over while stroking Mark’s stiffening cock as Mark moans loudly. Rob shifts so his mouth is over Mark’s cock, touches his lips to the tip, then pulls back with an impish grin.

“Whaat?” Mark groans. 

“I’m just thinking what a lucky bastard I am. It’s not everyone who gets to suck the cock of Britain’s most fanciable male.”

“Wanker.” Mark rolls his eyes at Rob affectionately. Rob smirks and lowers his head back down. He licks up and down Mark’s shaft and sucks the tip a couple of times, making Mark squirm and whimper and then stops.

“I’m serious though, Markie. I really am the luckiest bastard in the world to have someone like you love me.”

“You’re a bastard, all right,” Mark groans in frustration.  
“I’ll stop teasing now. Promise.” And true to his word, Rob takes a deep breath and swallows Mark’s full length in one go. 

“OH MY GOD I LOVE YOU, YOU FUCKING BASTARD!”

Rob laughs softly around Mark’s cock and carries on sucking, one hand rubbing up and down Mark’s thigh and the other fondling his balls as Mark bucks and moans and twists his fingers through Rob’s hair. 

“So...so close,” he gasps out. Rob sucks harder, staring up at Mark with his piercing green eyes. When he feels Mark stiffen and tastes the first couple salty drops, he takes him from his mouth and gives his prick a few quick firm jerks and Mark cums, moaning obscenely loudly, in great spurts all over Rob’s chest then falls over next to him with a blissed out smile, a sweaty, tired, gorgeous mess.  
…………………………………………………………………………………………………  
The tape faded to static. Rob and Ayda sat in silence.

“Babe?” Rob asked hesitantly. “Say something please?”  
A pause. Then, musingly, “you know you’d never think to look at him that Mark was hung like that…”  
“Not quite what I was expecting you to say, but all right…”

Ayda turned to look at him. 

“Rob, what am I supposed to say? I don’t even know how I feel or how to respond to this. I mean, part of me is hurt you never thought to share with me that you and Mark were lovers, part of me feels like it’s not any of my business because it happened way before we met, part of me is kind of turned on from watching that, and part of me is weirded out that I’m turned on. I’m gonna need some time to process this.”  
…………………………………………………………………………………………  
Rob paced restlessly on his patio, smoking and texting Mark. URGENT. CALL ASAP. NEED TO TALK.  
His phone rang a few minutes later. “Everything all right, Rob?” Mark sounded worried.  
“Oh, everything’s great...got some work done on the new album, the tulips are coming up in the garden, Ayda got a vcr so we could watch those tapes you sent…”  
“Why am I hearing sarcasm in your voice?”  
A pause. Then, quietly, “Ayda saw the tape of us.”  
“I don’t understand,” said Mark. “What…”  
“THAT tape,” Rob interrupted. “The one with you and I doing…” He trailed off.  
“Oh god,” Mark whispered in horror.  
“I completely forgot that was in the box.” He cleared his throat nervously.  
“Wha-what did she say?”  
Rob repeated Ayda’s words to Mark.  
There was a long silence. Then Mark spoke again.  
“Are you going to tell her it didn’t stop in the 90s?”  
……………………………………………………………………………………………..


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rob and Mark have a brief heart to heart, then things heat up. Honestly it’s mostly porn.

Rob sighed. “I don’t know, mate, I just don’t know.” He took a long drag on his cigarette. “I mean, I don’t want to keep lying to her. I really don’t. And if I keep it up, I could lose her. And that’d kill me, it would.” He was quiet for a moment. “But giving you up would kill me just as much.” He took another drag of his cigarette and spoke again. 

“You’ve never said anything about us to Emma have you?”

“No,” Mark sighed. “I hate meself for it, if I’m honest. I feel like such a hypocrite going on about making a fresh, honest new start with her after rehab when all I’ve done is give up other women, ya know?” Rob made an affirmative noise. “I know I’m being selfish. But I don’t want to lose you. I *can’t* lose you. Not again.”

“We’re both fucked, mate, that’s what we are.”

“Yeah.” Then in a very different tone, a very suggestive tone, “I really miss you.”  
Rob looked at the phone in surprise. Was Mark really….?  
“Well that’s a shift…”

Mark shrugged. “Figured that was enough soul searching for now.” He altered his voice to a low purr, “besides, all this talk about sextapes is making me horny.”

Rob felt his cock twitch in response. He coughed. “You alone?”  
“Mm hmm. I’m at the Rabbit Hutch. How about you?”  
“Ayda’s gone for a drive. Said she needed to clear her head. Think she’ll be out for a while.”  
“Mmmmm...in that case...want to Skype?”  
“Oh fuck yes.”

...............................................................................................................................................................

Rob went back inside and set up his laptop and dialed up Mark’s number. He appeared on the screen a moment later. His head was thrown back and his eyes were half closed and his mouth was open in an O shape. He was making little gasping sounds. Rob licked his lips.

“You started without me. Dirty boy.”

Mark paused and gave Rob his most penitent face.  
“I’m sorry.”  
“Not a big deal, son, we..”  
Mark interrupted him. “I’m very, very sorry I’m such a naughty boy, sir.”

Oh.

Rob cleared his throat and tried to sound as authoritative as possible.  
“You have been a very bad boy, haven’t you? I bet you’re touching yourself right now. You started thinking about my hands on you and you just couldn’t wait, could you?”

“Mmmmm, no I couldn’t.”

“So impatient. I’ll have to punish you for that next time I see you.”

“Wha-what will you do to me?”

Rob unzipped his jeans and pulled himself out and started stroking.  
“Gonna put you over my knee and pull your trousers down to your ankles. And I’m gonna tie your hands behind your back so you can’t touch yourself. And then I’m gonna spank that cute little arse of yours until it’s bright red and you’re grinding on my lap, desperate for me to start fucking you.” 

Mark groaned. “Fuck, I need to see your cock.”

“Uh uh uh” Rob shook his head. “You have to wait your turn, you greedy boy.” 

Mark whimpered in frustration.  
“Maybe if you ask me nicely…”

“Please may I have a look at your prick, sir? I’m so horny thinking about you filling my tight little arse with it…”

Rob gulped. “Let’s have a look at you, first.”  
Mark slowly lowered his laptop to allow Rob a proper look. He was fully erect and gliding his hands up and down his shaft. The tip of his cock glistened with precum.  
Rob let out a guttural moan. “Put your fingers in your mouth.”  
Mark obliged. “Now suck. Get them nice and wet. I want to see you work yourself open.” 

Mark purred with delight, sliding his hand down to his entrance and slowly inserting first one, then two fingers. He was breathing heavily and his cock was throbbing. When he started to insert the third finger, Rob stopped him.

“Don’t suppose you’ve got any toys lying around, have you?”  
“As a matter of fact…” Mark reached over and rummaged around in a nearby drawer and pulled out a bottle of lube and an alarmingly large dildo and held them up with a debauched grin on his face.

“I should have guessed. Now let’s see you slide that thing into your tight little hole...good boy... now picture me with you, working that toy in and out and in and out while I’m fucking your mouth with this…” He adjusted his laptop screen to reveal his throbbing cock. 

Mark groaned loudly and filthily. 

 

“Can’t wait to taste it, can you?” Mark shook his head. “Tell me how much you want to suck me.”

“Wa-want to suck you s-so badly..” Mark gasped, still working the dildo in and out of his hole. “Want to lick you up and down and suck and suck and suck until you cum down my throat…”

“Oh fuuuck, yeah” Rob groaned, his hand rapidly working his shaft. “You gonna swallow, baby?”

“Course I am. You taste too good to waste. I *love* swallowing your cum,” Mark purred. 

“Oh fucking hell, I’m gonna…” Rob sped up his strokes.  
“Cum for me, baby, come on. Want to see you spurt so I can picture myself licking every. single. drop. off your chest.” 

That did it. With a long, loud moan and shudder, Rob climaxed and fell back in his chair, grinning. Mark followed suit a moment later, letting out such a loud, guttural moan from the sensation overload of his hands on his cock and the dildo hitting his prostate and the sight and sound of Rob that it was a relief he had no nearby neighbors. 

“Don’t know bout you,” said Rob. “But I need to do that in person. Soon.”

“You so fucking do.” Mark nodded in fervent agreement.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ayda has some questions for Rob. This is a really, really short chapter.

A few weeks passed without Ayda mentioning the video and Rob was starting to think he might be in the clear when she brought it up one evening in the middle of supper.  
“Did the others know about the two of you?”

Rob nearly choked on his forkful of fettuccine. He hastily took a big swig of water and answered, as nonchalantly as he could. 

“I’m not sure, to tell you the truth. We never talked about it. I dare say they might have because we weren’t exactly subtle about it.” He thought a bit more. “But maybe they didn’t. Gaz was in his own little world half the time and Jay and How were wrapped up in each other.”

Ayda raised her eyebrows at that. “Did those two…” Rob shrugged. “Don’t know for sure. Always had my suspicions though.”

She nodded and ate a few more bites of food. Then she spoke again. “I’m surprised no one’s talked about it. I thought you guys shared everything these days.”

Rob shrugged again. “We do. Mostly. Guess we just like to keep some things private though.”  
“Is it bothering you, me asking these questions? Did you want to keep this a private memory between you and Mark? Is that why you never told me about it?”

Rob considered this. 

“Never thought about it that much, really. But, yeah, I think I probably did.” 

“Then I’ll respect that. I don’t have to have access to every part of you and your past just because I’m your wife.” 

Rob looked up at her gratefully.  
“Thank you for that.”

Ayda reached over and put her hand on his and kissed him on the forehead.  
“Besides, what’s in the past is in the past. Right, babe?”

Rob was suddenly fascinated by his plate of pasta and unable to make eye contact.

“Rob?” Ayda faltered. “It-it *is* in the past though?” She looked at him imploringly.

“Isn’t it?”

Rob couldn’t answer her.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ayda learns the truth about Rob and Mark.

“Rob? You- you don’t still have feelings for Mark, do you?” 

Rob bit his lip and shifted the food around on his plate, still not able to meet Ayda’s eye.

“Rob? Look at me. Please?” 

He swallowed nervously and then looked up at Ayda. He tried to compose his face into a relaxed expression, but his eyes betrayed him. He looked absolutely haunted.

Ayda took a good, long, look at him and knew, without his saying a word, what his true feelings were. 

“I-I see.” She drew a long shaky breath and took a good sized gulp from the wine glass next to her. 

“Does he know?” 

Rob nodded.

“But..I mean, you’re not...the two of you haven’t been…”

Rob looked miserable.

“H-how long?”

“Since Progress,” he whispered.

Ayda let out a choked sob.

“All those years? All that time... when we were saying our wedding vows to each other, when I was giving birth to your children...all that time you were having an affair with Mark?”

“I…”

“Get. Out.”  
“Ayda..” He cautiously touched her shoulder.

 

She shook him off. “Please. Go. I can’t...I can’t be in the same room with you right now.” 

He reluctantly made his exit. The sound of his wife’s sobs filled his ears as he walked slowly down the hall and out the door.  
………………………………………………………………………………………………….....................................................................................

Mark woke up with a start to the sound of his phone ringing. 3 a.m. He peered at the screen in annoyance. It was ridiculous that Rob still hadn’t worked out time differences.  
“This had better be good, Rob.”  
Silence.  
“Rob?”  
“Markie?” Rob sounded like he’d been crying. Mark felt his resentment leaving him.  
“I’m here, mate. I’m here.”  
Rob broke down sobbing. “She knows,” he whispered hoarsely. “Ayda..she knows everything.”  
He took a deep, shuddering breath. “She’s kicked me out. I think. I should probably give her space anyway.” He sniffed. “Could you...is there any way you could get away for a little bit? I just….I really need you.” 

“I’ll book a flight first thing tomorrow.”

“What will you tell Emma?”  
“I guess, for right now, I’ll just say that you’re going through a bit of a rough spot with Ayda and you need some moral support. And after that,” he took a resigned breath, “after that, I guess I’ll have to tell her the truth. God knows I owe it to her.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rob reunites with Mark. Sex happens. That’s about it, really.

Rob nervously drummed on the arm of his seat near the baggage claim at the airport. When he heard them announcing “Flight 437 from London arriving now” over the P.A. system, he bolted out of his chair and sprinted to the baggage carousel and started pacing back and forth, anxiously looking down the hallway for the first sign of Mark. 

About ten minutes later, a slight figure wearing a trilby and scuffed brown boots and carrying a backpack nearly as big as himself came into view. Rob could feel his eyes welling up with tears.  
“He’s here. My Markie’s really here.”  
……………………………………………………..

“You planning on moving in with me?” Rob jokingly gestured to Mark’s five giant suitcases.   
“Might have to once I talk to Em.”  
“That’d be something wouldn’t it? Reckon we ought to wait until we get to it to burn that bridge though.” Rob smiled at Mark. “I’m just so glad you’re here now, though.”

Mark looked at him searchingly.

“How are you holding up? For real.”

Rob’s smile faded.   
“I’m a fucking wreck if you wanna know the truth. Don’t think I’ve slept in three days.”

Mark stretched up on his toes and gave Rob a gentle kiss on the cheek.   
“You try and get some kip once we get to the hotel. We can talk after that. I’m not going anywhere.”  
“Will you lie down with me?” Rob asked, a bit wistfully.  
“Try and stop me.”  
…………………………………………………………………………….  
A few hours later, Rob awoke to Mark snuggled tightly to his chest. He was awake and had been for some time but unable to move due to Rob’s arms being wrapped so tightly around him.   
“Hey you” Mark said softly.  
“Hey” Rob looked at him groggily. “Wha..time’s it?”  
“Goin on 9, I think.”  
Rob looked at him in surprise.  
“Didn’t think I would sleep so long.”   
“I’m glad you did. You needed it. Now that you’re up though, could you let go of me? Fucking dying for a piss.”  
“Soz.” He shifted so Mark could slide out of bed.  
“S’alright,” Mark said, giving him a quick peck on the lips and then dashing into the toilet.  
…………………………………………………………………………………………………  
“Do you want to talk now?”   
Rob shook his head and pulled Mark on top of him and started kissing him.  
“Rather do other things right now. God I’ve missed you so fucking much.”  
Mark let out a throaty moan as Rob nibbled on his ear.   
“Mis-ahhh-missed you too.”  
Rob scooped him up and lay him on the bed. He undressed him slowly and then lay down beside him, marveling at him.  
“So fucking beautiful,” he shook his head in wonder. “After all these years, you’re still so fucking beautiful. I don’t understand how you do it.”  
Mark started to blush.  
Rob laughed affectionately. “And you still go all red when I tell you that.” He leaned over him and kissed him on the lips, softly at first, then with more pressure as Mark moaned into the kiss and opened his mouth to allow Rob’s tongue access. The kiss grew more and more passionate as Mark arched up into Rob and ran his hands up and down his back.   
“Want..want you so much,” he gasped breathlessly. Rob flipped him over and started kneading his ass cheeks, kissing and biting at them gently as he spread them apart and slid his tongue around his tight little hole.   
“Ohhhhh godddd,” Mark writhed and whimpered underneath him.   
“Gonna make you feel so good, Markie,” Rob purred as he rubbed some lube on his fingers and started to work on widening Mark’s entrance. Mark bucked against the fingers probing him, grinding his cock into the sheets beneath him.  
“F-fuck me, Rob,” he begged. “Please..I’m so ready…”   
“You sure?”  
Mark nodded. “God yes.”  
Rob reached for the lube again and poured a generous amount into the palm of his hand and rubbed it all over his cock, coating it thoroughly. He draped himself over Mark and gave him a love bite on his neck and then positioned his cock at Mark’s hole and slowly started to enter him.   
“God, you’re so fucking tight,” Rob groaned in arousal. He pushed himself in a bit further. Mark gasped.   
“You all right?”   
Mark nodded. “Just been a little while. I need a second.” Rob paused to allow Mark a chance to adjust.  
“I’m good now. You can go ahead and move. Please.”  
“Don’t need to tell me twice.” Rob started to work his hips, building up a steady rhythm and reaching under Mark’s arching back to grab hold of his cock and start stroking it. He pounded into Mark relentlessly, hitting the spot that made Mark see stars over and over and making him moan loudly, so very loudly.   
“I...I’m cu…”  
“Let go, baby, let go,” Rob purred in his ear.  
Mark briefly tensed up around Rob’s cock, then climaxed, loudly and messily into Rob’s hand and collapsed, trembling. Rob’s own climax hit him a moment later and he pulled out and spilled his load on top of Mark’s ass cheeks, groaning loudly, and then flopped over next to Mark.   
“Fucking...amazing.”   
Mark nodded in agreement. They lay in silence, getting their breath back. Then Mark spoke.  
“We’re gonna need a shower.” Rob nodded.  
“And after that…” he began.  
“We go for round two?” Interrupted Rob.  
Mark shook his head.  
“No. After that, we talk.”   
Rob sighed.   
“I was afraid you were going to say that.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emma gets an unexpected visitor.

Emma flopped down on the couch in exhaustion. Mark jetting off to see Rob with almost no warning meant that she was left to do three different school runs, figure out how to be at a footy match, a ballet recital, and a kindergarten play all at the same time and god knows what else the kids needed that week on her own. Which she was used to doing when Mark was on tour. But she had advanced notice in that case and could strategize and bring in back up if needed. This just made her feel like the proverbial chicken running around with its head cut off.

She sighed tiredly. She was fond of Rob and Ayda and sorry they were going through a rough patch and she had always found Mark’s loyalty to Rob touching. But sometimes she wished he would put himself and their family first instead of always being at Rob’s beck and call. She thought bitterly that she dare not ask him what he would do if Rob jumped off a bridge, because she was pretty sure she knew the answer.  
She shook the disloyal thought from her head. Mark was too soft hearted for his own good half the time, this was true, but wasn’t that what had made her fall in love with him in the first place? 

She was just about to head into the kitchen and see what she could come up with for lunch when the doorbell rang and all of the dogs started barking at once.

She frowned in puzzlement as she wasn’t expecting anyone. She hoped it wasn’t an autograph seeker or a tabloid reporter. 

The bell rang again. Emma cautiously peeked through the curtains on the front room window and jumped back in surprise. She ran to open the door.

“Ayda? What on Earth are you doing here?”  
………………………………………………………………………………..  
“Is this a bad time? I should go. I shouldn’t have come, I’m sorry.. I don’t know what I was thinking…”  
“No! Come in, come in! I’m sorry, you took me by surprise, is all.”  
Emma ushered Ayda into the living room, taking note of her red rimmed eyes and distraught manner.  
“Are you all right? Mark told me you and Rob were having some problems and he was worried about you guys.”  
Ayda gave a short, bitter laugh.  
“His concern is touching. Especially considering he’s the cause of it.”  
“I don’t understand..what does Mark have to do what’s happening with you and Rob?”  
Ayda sighed.  
“You’re probably going to want to sit down for this..”  
Emma took a seat on the couch and looked at her cautiously.  
Ayda took a deep breath.  
“Right. I don’t know how to say this the right way, or if there even is a right way, so I’m just going to come right out and say it…”  
“Yes?”  
“Rob and Mark are having an affair.”  
Emma stared at Ayda in disbelief for a moment. Then she burst out laughing.  
“Oh that’s a good one. That’s...you’re serious, aren’t you?”  
Ayda nodded grimly.  
“Believe me, I wish I were kidding.”

..................................................................................................................................  
“But...that….that doesn’t make sense...Mark doesn’t even like men…”  
Ayda looked at her wonderingly. Was she that naive? Even before Ayda learned the truth about his relationship with her husband, it was always pretty clear to her he wasn’t straight.  
“He was pretty damn enthusiastic about sucking cock for a straight man then, from what I saw.”  
“Wait, you saw them?”  
“There’s a tape. Of them being...intimate back in the 90s. I thought at first maybe it was just them experimenting or something but...the way they looked at each other in it...you could tell they were lovers.”  
Emma took this in and then replied slowly, “but...if that happened so long ago, what difference does it make now?”  
“Because it’s still going on today.”  
Emma sat in stunned silence, struggling to process it all.  
“So, my husband is gay…”  
“Or bi. I honestly don’t know which. But that’s not the point. Or not the only one. The point is, our husbands are cheating on us. With each other. And we’re going to have to figure out what that means for our marriages.”  
Emma burst into tears as the full impact of Ayda’s words hit her.  
“I can’t go through all that shit again, Ayda. I just can’t.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rob and Mark figure things out.

Rob and Mark lay in bed together, Mark resting his head on Rob’s chest.  
“Remember when we first met?” Mark asked.  
“Mmmhmmm...in the queue outside that dodgy theater when we auditioned for Nigel.”  
“We both had our mums with us and were dead embarrassed.”  
Rob laughed. “I remember looking at you and thinking, you know, straight off, ‘I’m gonna get on with him real well.’ Even before we talked. Just had a feeling we were going to click.” He paused and gave Mark a soft kiss on his forehead.  
“And I was right. Didn’t have any idea then just how well though.”  
Mark smiled.  
“I remember looking at you and thinking you were the most gorgeous boy I’d ever seen in my life and my tummy going all wobbly. And I didn’t know if it was because of you or because I had butterflies about auditioning or what and I felt really confused because I didn’t think a boy could make me feel like that.”

“You really thought this gob was gorgeous?” Rob pulled a rubber faced grin.  
“Always have. No matter how many stupid faces you pull, you’re always gonna look beautiful to me. Because you’re my Robbie.”

“I honestly think I might start crying. You really are the nicest man in history, aren’t you?”  
“I’m a far cry from that, let’s face it. But I really do love you.”  
Rob studied him carefully.  
“I know I was joking around earlier when I talked about you moving in with me. But what if I wasn’t joking?”  
Mark frowned at him in confusion.  
“But we don’t...we can’t…”  
“Can’t what? Do you honestly think we can go back to our wives after this and act like nothing’s changed? Do you think they’d even let us? Fuck, Mark, how many times have you cheated on Emma? Do you really think she’s going to keep forgiving you indefinitely?”  
“What about the kids though? I can’t lose my babies.” Mark started to tear up at the thought.  
“I don’t want to lose mine, either. But couples split all the time and still manage to work out shared custody. It won’t be the same as always being with them but are you willing to keep living a lie?”  
“It’s not a total lie,” muttered Mark, defensively. 

“No, it’s not a total lie we’re both living. Because we do both truthfully love our wives. But we don’t love them enough to share that we’re both bisexual. We don’t love them enough to admit that we had a relationship in the past, let alone now. And we don’t love them enough to be faithful to them because we’ve spent too many miserable years apart to know it kills us to not be together. And I don’t know about you, but I reckon it’s not fair to anyone to keep on with it now that the truth’s out.”

Mark sighed loudly and ran his fingers through his hair.  
“I hate it when you’re right.”  
“Lucky for us, it doesn’t happen very often.” Rob grinned at him cheekily.

“Thank heaven for small favors.” He paused and chewed on his bottom lip for a moment, lost in thought. 

“What do you think it’ll do to the band if we come out of the closet?”  
“Well, I mean, at least half our fan base already thinks we’re gay, so probably not much..”  
Mark glared at him. “I’m serious, Rob.”

“I don’t rightly know if I’m honest. S’pose only time will tell. I do know it’s long past time we were honest with Gaz and Dougie and Jay though.”  
“Do you even know where Jay is? I’ve lost track.”  
“No, but we’re telling him the truth when we do find him. He deserves to hear it even if he’s not part of the group anymore. Especially since he’s the one who was always encouraging us to be more open with each other.”  
“He’s going to be so disappointed in us,” fretted Mark. “They’re all gonna be so disappointed in us.”  
“Probably. We’ve lied to them for a long time. They’ll be justified in being seriously pissed off at the both of us.” He paused and squeezed Mark’s hand.  
“But they won’t hate us. And I think they’ll forgive us in time. Because they love us. And besides, if Gary can forgive me viciously slagging him off for ten years straight, he can forgive anything. I hope.”

“Do you really think this will work? Us being together properly for real in the open?”

“I don’t know for sure. I just know I’ve loved you for nearly thirty years and have had to pretend that you’re just my little buddy for all that time and I am so tired of pretending that you’re not my everything.”  
He gave Mark a little impish smile and added, with a twinkle in his eye, “you’re all that matters to me.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gary starts telling Ayda and Emma about Mark and Rob’s volatile relationship history. Things get a bit dark.

For the second time that afternoon, the doorbell rang.  
“Oh for fuck’s sake, who is it now?” Emma muttered darkly as she maneuvered around the hysterically barking dogs to get to the door.  
She flung the door open impatiently. “Well?!”

Gary took a step back. “Ermm..is this a bad time? Mark invited me to come round to have a listen to the new tracks he’s been working on.”

“Mark’s not here. Didn’t he tell you?”

Gary shook his head.

“He’s buggered off to L.A. to shack up with his lover.”  
“Ah...well in that case, I’ll come back another…’ang on, what did you say?”

Emma sighed. “You might as well come in and join the party, Gaz. This affects you too and I think you might be able to answer some questions we’ve got.”

Gary followed her into the house, feeling completely baffled.   
“I’m afraid I don’t understand what’s going on...is Mark cheating on you again? I’m so sorry to hear that, but I don’t understand how it affects me...Ayda?! What in the world are you doing here? Is Rob with you?”

Ayda stood up and gave Gary a brief hug hello.  
“It’s good to see you, Gary. And no, Rob’s not with me. He’s in L.A.”  
She paused significantly.  
“With Mark.”

Gary turned to Emma.  
“But you just said Mark was shacking up with…”  
Emma nodded.  
“You mean…”  
Emma nodded again.  
“Fuckin’ hell,” he whispered. “I need a drink.”  
……………………………………………………………  
“I think we all do. Sadly I don’t keep any in the house. Unless we’re expecting company, that is.” Emma smiled ruefully. “Perks of having an alcoholic spouse.”

“Right. Sorry. Feel a bit of a cock, now.”   
“Don’t give it a second thought,” Emma waved her hand dismissively.

Gary nodded and sat down in the rocking chair next to the couch where Emma and Ayda were sitting.  
“So, could someone please tell me what the bloody hell is going on?!”

Ayda and Emma looked at each other. Then Ayda spoke up. “I guess I’ll start. A few months ago, Rob asked Mark if he could send him some of his old home videos of the band from the 90s…”

Gary nodded again. “I remember he was always going around filming everything with his camcorder in them days.”

“Right. Well, anyway, he sent us a big box of tapes that just took up space in our closet for ages because Rob didn’t think to realize he’d need a VCR to watch them..”  
Gary snorted. “But then I managed to get hold of a vhs player and we sat down one night to watch the videos and…” She paused and took a deep breath.

“Was there something on the tapes that troubled you?”  
“You could put it that way. One of them turned out to be a sex tape.” 

“Jesus Christ. Of Rob and Mark, l’m guessing.”

Ayda nodded. Then Emma spoke up.  
“Gary, did you have any idea about what was going on with the two of them?”  
………………………………………………………………………  
Gary considered Emma’s question and then answered carefully, “D’you know what, I  
actually did. I know Rob probably assumed I had my head too far up my arse to notice much and I dare say he was right, but I noticed a lot more than people think. Besides you couldn’t spend that much time in close quarters with those two and not figure out that there was something going on there.”

“But you’ve never said…”  
Gary shrugged helplessly. “Didn’t think it was my place to say. It wasn’t my relationship.”

“No, you’re right. It was up to them to speak up,” said Ayda.  
“When did it start, do you know?”

Gary thought for a bit.

“D’you know I’m not really sure. It was pretty early on, though, I think. I remember them making eyes at each other the whole time we were shooting the Promises video.”

He thought some more. “They were just about attached at the hip in them days. You almost never saw them apart and they were always holding hands and looking all moony eyed. It always made Dougie and Jay and me smile. I’m a bit surprised we never took the piss with them over it, cos we did that a lot, but I guess we thought it was so sweet we didn’t have the heart to.”

He was quiet for a moment, thinking back some more.

“They were completely wrapped up in each other until about 1994 or so. That’s when it all started to turn to shit, though we didn’t know it at the time.”  
“What happened exactly? Mark’s always so vague when he talks about the band disintegrating the first time round,” asked Emma.

Gary sighed heavily.

“It was a bunch of different things, really, but in terms of Mark and Rob, that was when Rob’s drinking started getting really out of hand. And he wasn’t just drinking, he’d started doing drugs too. Like, hard ones, not just smoking a spliff from time to time like the rest of us. And at first, Mark would tag along with him and get, you know, completely off his face on cocaine or whatever, but it made him really uneasy. Because we had a contract that said we couldn’t be caught out in public like that, you know, we had an image to maintain. So going out and partying like that was risking their jobs and risking the reputation of the band. Mark, I think, only went along with Rob and his new gang, you know, the Diamond Dogs, once or twice and then stopped because he could see it was getting out of hand. But Rob wouldn’t stop and well, couldn’t stop and he started distancing himself from all his non druggy mates. That really, really hurt Mark. And I think witnessing Rob being so self destructive and not being able to stop him must have been horribly painful for him as well.”

He blinked back a few tears.

“It was horrible for us as well, seeing Mark hurting like that. We didn’t realize at the time how bad Rob’s addictions had gotten, but we saw him getting more volatile, more erratic, more unpredictable. He was really short tempered in them days and he yelled at Mark a lot when he was drunk, I guess maybe because he didn’t have the nerve to yell at Nigel and Mark was an easy target. Mark, he just seemed to shrink into himself around Rob. And you know, before that, he used to just absolutely light up in Rob’s presence. But he was acting really timid and fearful and skittish and..”Gary paused and weighed his next words carefully, “I don’t want to make accusations based on conjecture here, but Mark started showing up to rehearsals with a lot of bruises. He always had an excuse for them and he always had an excuse for Rob’s temper flare ups and we didn’t have any proof, but things felt wrong. It wasn’t sitting right with the three of us.”

Ayda and Emma both stifled a gasp and looked at each other in horror.

“I remember having lunch in the canteen after morning rehearsals one day and you could just cut the tension with a knife. Rob wasn’t hardly saying much but there was all this anger just vibrating off him and he stormed out after a few minutes and Mark just sat there and picked at his food, I don’t think he ate a bite, he barely ate in them days, and then excused himself and walked away with his head down looking totally defeated. And the three of us sat there in silence looking at each other not knowing what to do and Jason said “what are we going to do about this?” He grimaced at the recollection.   
“And I said, and I’m not proud of this, I said it wasn’t our concern.” And I think Jason started to say something in response, but to be honest I probably wouldn’t have taken him seriously because him and me were always at loggerheads, but Howard just absolutely *slammed* his fist on the table and yelled at me ‘HE’S FUCKING KILLING MARKIE, HE IS, FUCK IT NOT BEING OUR CONCERN!!’

That was a real wake up call for me. Because Howard never got angry. Ever. That made me realize how serious it was. And that, that was it, really, that was when we decided that Rob couldn’t do the tour with us, he had to go now. I know everyone thinks it was Glastonbury that pushed it over the edge, but really it just gave us an excuse.

To this day, I don’t know if we made the right call in forcing him out, but we couldn’t carry on like that. We had to protect Mark. I just wish we’d realized that we needed to protect Rob too. Even if it was from himself.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gary shares some more insights with Emma and Ayda and Emma comes to a painful conclusion about her marriage.

Ayda looked at Gary sympathetically. “You did the best you could in a bad situation. I don’t think anyone faults you for that anymore. I know Rob doesn’t.”

“He and I have talked a lot, you know, about those days. A lot of it is a blur to him but he remembers bits and pieces of turning on Mark and he just absolutely despises himself for it. I think the guilt over that, on top of the guilt over his attacks on me was what made him stay away from us for so many years. Him and me, our fall out, I mean, that got pretty ugly obviously, but I brought some of it on myself. We’d always been super competitive with each other, always fought for dominance in the band, and after a point our rivalry hit a point where it wasn’t friendly anymore and I was prepared to fight dirty to win and he apparently was willing to fight even dirtier. Neither one of us was blameless there. But with Mark, that was different. Because he did nothing whatsoever to deserve being lashed out at. It was like kicking a puppy. 

The worst of it was that I think Mark still blamed himself for everything and thought, you know, ‘if I had been a better boyfriend, Rob wouldn’t be so unhappy and he wouldn’t drink so much and he wouldn’t have left me.’ He was a ghost of himself after Rob left, at least at first. I mean, he’d already become withdrawn by then, but it got so much worse. He barely spoke, didn’t laugh, didn’t smile, barely ate, I don’t think he slept at all...Howard found him one day sitting hunched up on the studio floor rocking back and forth with tears falling down his face. And typical Howard, he didn’t ask any questions, just got on the floor with him and put his arms round him and held him while he cried. After that, we all made more of an effort to bring Mark out of his shell and it eventually started working a bit and I remember feeling so incredibly relieved to hear that daft loud laugh of his again. But he still wouldn’t stay happy for too long at a time, it was like he felt like he didn’t deserve to be happy.

I don’t know if I’m reading it wrong (and Mark doesn’t much like opening up about these things) but I’ve long suspected a lot of Mark’s own demons, with, you know, drink and sex, had a lot to do with his feelings for Rob, either guilt over not helping him more or guilt over, as he saw it, driving him away or just plain denial about still having feelings for him.” 

He gave a self deprecating laugh. 

“Mind you, I’m not emotionally astute enough to have come up with all that on my own, but Jason sort of set my brain churning when he and I had a long talk after Mark checked into rehab.” 

Emma nodded slowly, blinking back tears. “It makes sense. I just wish I’d known any of this.”

“Rob admitted to me that he and Mark started having a sexual relationship again when you all were making Progress. Did you see any sign of that at all?” asked Ayda.

Gary reflected for a bit.

“I could see, we could all see, really, that they were completely smitten with each other. Mark, especially was absolutely giddy, because, you know, it was like he had *his* Robbie back, the one he fell in love with, not the monster that the drugs and everything had turned him into, only better for having gained some wisdom and humility with age. And Rob was so excited to be able to make things up to Mark. I know they tried here and there over the years to get that magic connection they had in the early days back again, but that’s not something you can force, you just have to wait for the right time and hope for the best.   
So, yes, I could see them falling for each other again.”  
He sighed.  
“But I promise I did not think they would act on it. No matter what their feelings were, I genuinely didn’t think they would hurt either of you like this or risk their relationships. Especially since Mark seemed so determined to salvage his marriage to you, Em.”

“Sometimes I wonder if he ever loved me at all.”   
Emma spoke sadly and quietly.

“Don’t say that!” Ayda and Gary spoke in unison.

Emma smiled sadly at them.   
“Do you remember that old interview you did way back in the early days where they asked you all what your ideal girl would be like?”

Gary nodded slowly.

“I think so, yes.”

“And Mark said he wanted someone who would have his babies but after that she could bugger off. Everyone laughed that off, but I think, deep down, he meant it.”

She paused a moment, lost in thought.

“I love Mark dearly and I know in his own sweet, bumbling way he loves me too, but he has never been an ideal romantic partner. But he is an absolutely amazing dad. Our kids are his life. We patched things up because I didn’t want them to lose out on having their dad in their life consistently. It’s only because of them we’re still together, if I’m honest with myself.”

She looked at Ayda.

“It’s different for you. Because everyone can see how deeply Rob loves you. He might love Mark just as deeply and I don’t know if or how you can come to terms with that, but he is head over heels about you. But with Mark...he loves me, I know he does...but it’s never been in quite the right way and it’s not...it’s just not enough anymore.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mark, Rob, Ayda, and Emma all come to an agreement.

“I’m going to give Emma a call and see how she and the kids are doing,” said Mark, dialing Emma’s mobile number.  
She picked up on the third ring.  
“Well speak of the devil! We were just talking about you!” Her voice was tinged with fake amusement.  
“I...who’s we?”  
“Oh...me, Ayda, Gary..it’s been quite the enlightening conversation I have to say…”  
“Shit.”  
“You always have had a way with words.”  
“Emma, I…”  
“No..” her voice wavered as she lost the forced cheerfulness. “I know what you’re going to say. And I really don’t want to have that conversation over the phone. Could you come home please? And bring Rob with you. We need to talk. All of us do.”  
………………………………………………………………………………………………  
“What I can’t figure,” said Rob as he buckled the seatbelt on his airplane seat, “is what Gary told them. I mean, it’s pretty obvious what Ayda told Emma, but we’ve never said anything to Gary.”  
“I’m assuming this means he’s known about us and never said anything,” said Mark. “The question is did he know about us then or know about us now? Or both?”

“Guessing he only knew about us back then because we’d have gotten a right earful if he knew we’d been carrying on to this day.”

“You’re right there. We’d have gotten one from Jay and Dougie as well.”

“Think they knew what was up back then?” asked Rob.  
“Could be. Not like anyone ever talked about anything back then. Mind you, it’s a bit hard to believe Jason has never brought it up in all these years. Figured he’d want to try and psychoanalyze our relationship dynamics or something.”

Rob snorted.  
“He would, wouldn’t he?”

“Yeah,” Mark smiled. “I miss him, you know. It’s not quite the same without him.”

“I used to get dead jealous when you said you’d marry him in those daft interviews we’d do for our magazine.”  
Mark laughed.  
“Did you really? Of him or me?”  
“Bit of both, if I’m honest.”

Mark nodded. “Think we all fancied Jay at some point. Probably best we never acted on it though.”  
“Right. Pretty sure Howard would have crippled us if we did.”  
…………………………………………………………………………………………………

“Can I ask you something?” Ayda asked Rob. The four of them were sprawled out on sofas eating pizza and wearing cozy flannel jammies in the den of Mark and Emma’s old farmhouse like they were at the world’s most emotionally fraught slumber party. 

“Shoot.”

“Did you marry me even though you’d fallen in love with Mark because you were afraid of not being able to function without me to take care of you or did you really love me?”

Rob considered this for a while.

“I think it was probably both, to tell you the truth. Because we all know what a total fucking wreck I was before I met you. And I was shit scared of going back to that. But I did, I *do* genuinely love you. It’s just that I love Mark too. Even though you’re not allowed to be in love with more than one person.”

“Wh..mm not?” Emma spoke out suddenly through a mouthful of cheese. 

Everyone turned to look at her.

“Why can’t you be in love with more than one person? I mean, you obviously are. And you can’t be the only one who’s ever done that. Don’t people have, like, arrangements or agreements for this kind of thing or something?”

“What, like Ayda and Mark share custody of me?” scoffed Rob.

“Well, yes, actually. In a way.”

“You mean polyamory?” 

Everyone turned to look at Mark. 

“Jason was going on about it once. Said it was the future of relationships because it focused on communication, love, and trust between all the parties involved and that monogamy wasn’t right for a lot of people and that being forced into monogamy by society is what leads to cheating.”

“Why was Jason going on about polyamory?!” asked Rob in confusion.

Mark shrugged.

“Why does Jason go on about anything? It’s Jason, it’s what he does. You know that. But anyway, what he said kinda makes sense to me.”

He paused for a moment to eat a few more bites of pizza, then spoke again.

“If everyone’s game, what’s stopping us from setting up a polyamorous arrangement? I mean it’s probably the best way to handle this since Rob’s and my feelings for each other aren’t going to go away and he still loves Ayda and I still love Emma. And it would cause the least amount of disruption in the kids’ lives if we all stayed married.”

“If Ayda and I agreed to this, would we be allowed to have lovers of our own?” Asked Emma. “Not that we necessarily want one, but it hardly seems fair that you men get a wife and a lover while we’re left with basically half a husband.”

Ayda nodded in agreement.

Mark and Rob looked at each other and nodded.  
“That’s only fair.” 

Ayda and Emma looked at each other and smiled.  
“In that case, we’re in.”

Mark turned to face Rob who was looking a bit let down.

“What’s wrong?”

“Dunno, really. Just seems a bit anticlimactic, I guess.”

“I know, I know, you were looking forward to us setting off rainbow fireworks and bungee jumping off a skyscraper together while shouting “WE’RE HERE, WE’RE QUEER, GET USED TO IT!”

Ayda and Emma giggled. Rob smirked a bit. “You know me. Go big or go home.”

“But is that really fair to everyone? Is it fair to the band? Is it fair to our wives? Because between our addictions, your feud with Gary, my infidelities, and that whole tax fiasco, I don’t think Take That can survive another scandal. And you know the press would turn it into one and make it into something ugly. Can’t you see the headlines? ‘Mark Owen and Robbie Williams caught in gay sex shocker! Wives betrayed!’ Do we really want to put Emma and Ayda through that public humiliation?

I’m not saying we keep on being totally closeted. We come out to our friends, we come out to our kids, we come out to our families. We come out to the people that matter to us. Because it’s not anyone else’s business.”

“But we owe it to the fans to…”

Mark cut him off. 

“No. We owe it to the fans to make good music and put on spectacular shows and to be courteous, gracious, and friendly in our interactions with them. We owe them thanks and appreciation for all their support. But, and I don’t mean to be awful, we don’t owe them shit when it comes to sharing our personal lives. That’s not theirs.”

Rob mulled all this over for a while.

“You’re right,” he conceded.

“I’m in for the whole poly thing. One condition, though.”

“What’s that?” 

“We set off rainbow fireworks in our next shows.”

Mark laughed, then drew Rob to him and kissed him.

“I wouldn’t dream of doing anything else.”


End file.
